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Prejudice vs wow/video games in general
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334295
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Post by
StumpJumper
Sounds like you have a nice little control freak there. (kidding...just kidding)
Seriously. Have you been playing since you started dating?
if so, sorry dude...
If not, I am sure she see you two marring and "growing" up in her mind and thinks games are childish.
If it wasn't WoW, it would be the time you spend with the boys playing pool and drinking beers. or watching t.v. Or anything that doesn't fit the overall plan.
Now, I agree that WoW IS a waste of time... just like everything else we do in our "free" time. In the grand scheme of things, TV, Surfing the net, playing games, napping, reading books, or takin' a stroll are all healthy ways to unwind your brain.
When I have issues in my dating life and my wow life it's pretty simple. I don't spend all my free time with either one. and most time, Never together. So, I go out, socialize, play, enjoy good time with the girl... and on my Own time, I play wow.
The deal is, really, Who's needs are more important. She wants Her needs met. you want yours.
The method I use works for me. I am able to raid 2 (sometimes 3) times a week. I run my auctioneer scans when I get home from work while I am walking the dog... check messages, make plans, and go out (if that's the plan). Finish the night off with 30 or so minutes of what ever, and repeat. if I choose not to make plans, I just play in the evenings.
A good way to explain this to Anyone is to show them...
On Average (per week), I spend around 12 hours at bars, 8 hours watching TV, 20 hours with Girls, 6 hours reading, 4 hours cleaning, and 1 hour shopping.
Now - I can substitute WoW with any of that Bar time, Tv time, and Reading time if I want to. as long as I don't miss my cleaning time and Girl time, there should be No complaints.
good luck, and I in No way was trying to insult you or your GF. I made some presumptions, but in No way judging you or her. My answers were based on my interpretation of what I would do/have done in similar situations.
Edit: Living with someone tends to make you think that spending every moment together is mandatory - but solo time is not only importaint, it helps keep a relationship form getting "stale" and it prevents the other from thinking they have no "Me" time....
Post by
StumpJumper
Why not just Glare at her when she watches TLC and then when she asks "What, why are you staring at me?" Just say "You know...rather than sitting there watching that and wasting your life away you could be out doing stuff making a better person of yourself."
Nothing hurts a person more then having their own words thrown right back at them.
I get you don't want to hurt her, but the best way for her to realize why you like wow is to let her know by giving her a comparision of something she likes that takes a lot of her time.
Just my idea on this subject.... :3
Kinda Passive Aggressive there, dontcha think?
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StumpJumper
She is not directly controlling, she has her quirks and is mildly ocd, but actually I think I have more control in the relationship, she usually has to get my permission to do stuff, where we go, whatever. It's not by design, just she is a people pleaser and wants to make sure I'm ok with stuff, and I do what I want. I used to be that way with wow. If I wanted to play wow 24/7 I could, she would just b1tch about it. It really was my choice to cutback on video games, but I'd like to have my cake and eat it do I guess.
We are engaged actually and I have no doubt we're going to be happy, I could give up wow today, it's just annoying and I'd like to have both. She does say to me when we have kids (we both want them in a few years) there's no way I'll have time to play video games or I'll be a horrible father if I do. I kinda just figure we'll get there when we get there and see, obviously I won't have the same time I do now but that doesn't mean I can't play games now right?
Also when I said she spends her days watching tlc, I didn't mean when I'm around. She's one of those wants to do everything together all the time people, she watches tv and wastes time when I'm at work cus she's off during the summer. What I meant was when she tries to use to excuse of not bettering myself, I don't really see her doing that either.
I used to think it was an issue we couldn't do anything seperate when we're home together, like she didn't know how to have away time in the same room, but if I'm fixing the plumbing or reading in bed she's fine with that... it's just when I turn on the computer it gets hairy.
/shrug
Yeah. I hear ya. One thing i would point out, and this is purly from experience... get her more hobbies during summer. I have dated 2 different teachers, and summer can be stressful. It's awesome that women love us (congratz btw) and miss us so much during the day that they cant Wait to see us when we get home - but they rarely remember that they have just had 8 hours of "alone" time and we have been at work with NO "alone" time. Of course, we want to see them, but we also need some De-compressing time. I would also toss in there that you (both) run the risk of loosing "Who you are" when everything is done together. I think it's cool, adn it sounds like you are pretty happy.
Looks like you might have to become more of a "relaxed" player (i.e. maybe 30 minutes to an hour here and there).
oh, and my brother just had a son last year. hasn't logged more than 2 hours total since he turned 6 months. so, yeah. it's kinda "for now" anyway.....
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StumpJumper
Oh, I just have to comment on the belief that having kids somehow means you don't get to play WoW anymore. My boyfriend has a three year old daughter that he adores and he still had plenty of time for WoW when he was married, after all the kid had to sleep sometime. :) Obviously now he has more time for WoW since he and his ex-wife share custody, but even on the nights and weekends he has her at our home, he is able to log on WoW for an hour or two after she goes to bed at 8:30 pm. And many of our friends are married and have children....in fact my former guild masters on my old server had three children and still found time to play (casually of course). Sure you probably won't get to raid, but playing WoW is not out of the question, and certainly doesn't make you a 'bad' parent.
Oh, Sure.... I didnt mean Ever... my nephew is only 1 year and 2 months. they take a lot of time at that age. just walking, always in to stuff. Night is the only time he has free, and wow had to become less of a priority. I am Sure once he get's a little older, my brother will be able to play again... I was just stating that when they are really young, they take a lot of time. the time method i wrote about eariler in this post get's Skewed. no more bar time really. Baby time. and that almost Always comes first (if your good =)
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Post by
Urtukgorug
I have been in a similar situation for years. I finally have made the choice to ditch the GF.
If you play lot of WOW and have a significant other you have to do some serious soul-searching. “Why am I playing wow so much?”
Here are just a few of my revelations:
1) wow became more interesting than her. All she likes to talk about is gossip and crack jokes. No substance for me or mental stimulation. ( I would never say this to her face, I don’t want to hurt her).
2) We fought a lot so I would just leave the fight walk away and play for hours.
3) I came to the final decision that she WILL NOT be the mother of my kids if someday I choose to have them – due to her problem with anger - even if I am the cause of it because I am just being myself.
A)If you are really lucky enough to be in a relationship where you like to spend lots of time with your significant other – and you both love it and don’t get bored that’s wonderful.
B)If you are the kind of couple who can be happy but doing different things that’s also great. ( in the same house engaging in different hobbies, that kind of thing).
If neither A nor B are true then its time for some serious introspection.
I also would not assume your significant other can or will have this same introspection either. People have different values though and it is important to analyze these and be aware of them.
I have my own prejudices and I can admit them. My soon to be EX likes to watch the Disney channel a LOT . she is 25. SRSLY WTF!. She also likes to go to Disney land once a year with her family.
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