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Post by
Thrakin
Because we haven't seen one for a while.
I'll start.
Virgin Mary wanted to go down to see the world again, and she was allowed, if she promised to call God every night and tell him how she was doing.
First night, she calls him, "Hey, it's Virgin Mary, today I've tried getting drunk." God is shocked and tells her, "Please don't do that again." Second night, she calls him again; "Hey, it's Virgin Mary, today I've smoked pot and got high." God is shocked again, and tells her, "Don't do that again." Third night, she calls him, "Hey, it's Mary..."
Post by
Lusky
ohuSlimda
Post by
boods
An orc walk into as bar with a parrot on his shoulder a nearby hiuman asks where did you get that ?
the parrot answers "Oh they're all over Durotar"
A Dwarf Walks out of a bar
Those made me lol irl. *cookie*
Post by
Dralas
why do warriors never get their weapons ench'ed with intellect?
b'coz thye dont want their weapons to be smarter than thye are
I take that as a personal insult.
Post by
Arathian
I hate only 2 thing,racists and black people
A dwarf walks into a bar.He orders 3 beers.He drinks 1 gulp of each 1 until all 3 are finished.He pays and he leaves.For the next 2 weeks same thing happens.After a while the barman asks the dwarf why he drinks his beers in such a strange manner.He says it is because he has 2 brothers in IF and that because he can't have a beer with them he drinks 1 beer for each.1 week later the dwarf come but he orders only 2 beers.The barman brings him the beers and said he was sorry for the dwarfs loss.THe dwarf bursted in laughter and said:no,no,my brothers are still alive,i just stopped drinking
a priest walks by the beach.He suddeenly saw a gnome struglling in the water and aparently drowing.He was about to help him when he saw that he was on a rope that 2 orks were holding at the beach.Proud at them,he shouts:good work helping those in need,and left.Then one ork laughed and told the other:lol,he has apparently never been to shark fishing
also,copy pasted from some spam e-mails i receive
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ^&*!ting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 pm.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
edit:HOW COULD I FORGET?How it is called a lake with 50 drowned pallys?A bubblebath
Post by
386345
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
ASHelmy
I hate only 2 thing,racists and black people
A dwarf walks into a bar.He orders 3 beers.He drinks 1 gulp of each 1 until all 3 are finished.He pays and he leaves.For the next 2 weeks same thing happens.After a while the barman asks the dwarf why he drinks his beers in such a strange manner.He says it is because he has 2 brothers in IF and that because he can't have a beer with them he drinks 1 beer for each.1 week later the dwarf come but he orders only 2 beers.The barman brings him the beers and said he was sorry for the dwarfs loss.THe dwarf bursted in laughter and said:no,no,my brothers are still alive,i just stopped drinking
a priest walks by the beach.He suddeenly saw a gnome struglling in the water and aparently drowing.He was about to help him when he saw that he was on a rope that 2 orks were holding at the beach.Proud at them,he shouts:good work helping those in need,and left.Then one ork laughed and told the other:lol,he has apparently never been to shark fishing
also,copy pasted from some spam e-mails i receive
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ^&*!ting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 pm.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
edit:HOW COULD I FORGET?How it is called a lake with 50 drowned pallys?A bubblebath
If you have more of these wonderful things, you better tell :D.
Post by
Arathian
If you have more of these wonderful things, you better tell :D.
xmmmm,maybe,maybe not.If more than 5 ask for moar i MIGHT have some :D
Post by
MyTie
The fact that this thread remains unedited, and unlocked, after blaitently violating the ToS, while other non flame threads are locked without reason is proof that the wowhead system of forum moderation is biased and broken.
Furthermore, I request an apology from the staff at wowhead for allowing these racist posts to stay on here for nearly 14 hours now.
Post by
307945
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
273605
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
148723
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
273605
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
IFking
Alright, here's one (NOTE: It's kinda sexual)
Akid comes down to his kitchen to see his Grammy makin' him some cereal. He asks "Where's mom and dad?" She replies "Upstairs in bed"... Next morning, he comes downstairs to the same thing, asking "Where is mom and dad?". Grammy replies "Upstairs in bed". Next morning same situation. He asks "Where's mom and dad?" She replies "Upstairs in bed." The kid giggles. His grammy asks "Why are you laughing?" He said "Because when dad asked for the Vaseline, I gave him the super glue by accident..."
lol!
Post by
109094
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Slimda
I think he dislikes my silly little joke about racism. Everybody knows it's a joke, and everybody knows that black people are more or less "equal" to any other race of the human species.
more or less, because the races of the human species -does- have differences.
Post by
109094
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Slimda
Each to their own, I guess.
Post by
Arathian
3 have asked so far.2 more and new jokes inc.
also i agreewith you parazel.The joke i said indeed ain't racist,it just makes fun of rasist people thinking they aren't rasists.On the other hand the 1rst joke can be debated...
Post by
MyTie
I think he dislikes my silly little joke about racism. Everybody knows it's a joke, and everybody knows that black people are more or less "equal" to any other race of the human species.
more or less, because the races of the human species -does- have differences.
You said that 'crime is for black people'. That is against the ToS, and by Malgayne's own rules, is subject to insta ban.
What you said is offensive. It doens't matter if your comments come in the form of a joke, or if everyone knows it is a joke, or that you think that blacks are equal "more or less"...
what you said was racist and inappropriate
.
On a side note, the differences between the races does not make them more or less equal to other races, just different.
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