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How to defeat your GF: Tactics
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Post by
Davy32
I found this on my guild forums (which originally was found on the WoW forums)
I thought it was hilarious please ladies don't take any offence to what is written below.
How to defeat your girlfriend
You will need:
This is a 20-man job.
Your group should consist of 3 tanks, 7 healers, 4 good listeners, 3 martial arts experts, a priest, a bartender and a lawyer.
You need at least 300 guilt resistance
All players should take along flasks of tainted logic - allowing your party to think like a woman for 2 hours, though in reality this is impossible and has no effect.
Tactics
The first thing your girlfriend will do once she is engaged is spawn 110 adds, all of which are her close friends. Players that show any dislike for any of the friends will immediately take 3200 melee damage. She will enrage approximately 12 seconds into the fight, and then probably enrage further at any point after this. Once a month she will start the fight enraged and will be permanently so - no matter what you do.
After the add phase she will then cast "commitment" which brings all party members close to her. Players are unable to move away - even to drink or eat and cannot communicate with anyone on their friends list during this time. In this phase she will attempt to talk to you about settling down which sleeps the whole raid. She will periodically cast "if we had a baby I'd call her Sophia" which fears all party members within range and forces paladins to pop their bubble. The only way out of this is a counter-attack by telling her she is becoming her mother at which point she will place a debuff on all party members which lasts for the rest of their lives.
Throughout the fight she places a DoT on you which deducts 250g from your bag every minute and takes any of your stuff that she wants. This effect persists through sex. The sex phase is the shortest and may or may not happen, depending on if she has a headache or not.
After the sex phase she will always enter the "pillow talk" phase, at which point your character will need to eat and go to an inn to become rested, however your grilfriend will keep you in the pillow talk phase. After 5 minutes she will begin to cry, apparently for no reason. She is immune to everything during this time.
In the final phase a second girl spawns with firmer, better looking *!@#. Regardless of whether you're looking at the new boss or not your girlfriend will disengage the fight and teleport you out.
Everyone's gear is then found in black bin liners outside the raid entrance the day after.
Post by
Laihendi
Why not just get a boyfriend and make him do it for you?
Post by
182246
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Davy32
Don't be so depressing guys try to have some fun.
Edit: *doh*
Post by
Fathios
Don't not to be so depressing guys try to have some fun.
I thought it was funny. (b^^)b
Try to work something about paying for meals into that.
Post by
260787
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
312741
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Haxzor
I lol'd.
I will be amused when a girl engages this thread and enrages.
/Enrage.
/Tranq Shot
Post by
Blitzfire
EluraE is the final phase to my encounter. :(
Edit: Spelling
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Interest
Ahem!
Post by
84594
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Davy32
I LAUGHED!
Glad someone enjoyed it ^^
Post by
Random0008
I lol'd.
I will be amused when a girl engages this thread and enrages.
/Enrage.
/Tranq Shot
/tame EluraE
/cast Bestial Wrath
>:D
Post by
Finbarr
Win.
/target Elura
/cast
Hysteria
Post by
351832
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Fizzles
Your group should consist of 3 tanks, 7 healers, 4 good listeners, 3
marital
arts experts, a priest, a bartender and a lawyer.
Fix'd.
Post by
112775
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Random0008
What's so funny about it? Well.. maybe nothing.
just plain stupid. /the end
Your sense of humour is of the utmost quality.
/sarcasm
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