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I like a girl...but......(Warning: Long Read)
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Post by
588688
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Gone
What did your message say exactly?
Post by
588688
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Gone
What did your message say exactly?
"Hey, , I'm just wondering, since it's been a while since we last spoke, if you'd like to meet up sometime, just to catch up. I decided to finally cave in and join facebook, and thought I should get in touch with old friends again. If you'd like, message me back, I should be on later this afternoon."
She just got off, didn't get a response. That's probably not a good thing.
I wouldnt worry too much about it. She could be busy, or be thinking of what to say. Give it a few days, whatever you do though dont message her again. Be patient, I know it sucks. Maybe take like three days and dont even log on to FB, distract yourself with other things.
Post by
588688
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
HiVolt
Yes I figured messaging her again would just come off as way too eager. So, I should close my facebook tab and log off of it?
Yes, you should. By no means should you message her again until you've gotten some sort of response as well.
Post by
Gone
Yes I figured messaging her again would just come off as way too eager. So, I should close my facebook tab and log off of it?
Yes, you should. By no means should you message her again until you've gotten some sort of response as well.
And even then you shouldnt message her back right away, give it a day or two.
Post by
588688
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Gone
She could be having a bad day, be deep in conversation with somebody else and didnt look at her other messages, she could have left her FB open and was AFK (did it list the message as having been seen?), she could be buried in school work, she could have read it and is taking time to formulate a response. There are any number of unknown variables, dont drive yourself nuts thinking about it.
Post by
HiVolt
It's probably best not to dwell on it, man. The more you anticipate, the more it's going to hurt if she doesn't respond or turns you down. She might be too shy to accept, because she does like you; alternately, she may not want to hurt your feelings by saying no. We can't make assumptions on what she's thinking, because we're not her.
This is something where you're just going to have to wait and hope for the best (but also prepare for the worst).
Post by
588688
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
588688
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
BlackMonarch
Sometimes, people log into Facebook and go AFK for the entire time they're on, or just do other stuff because they're busy and plan on getting back to you later. And sometimes, they plan on getting back to you, then forget that you sent them anything. Next time you're both on, send her an IM. It should get her attention. A simple "hi, did you get my message?" should suffice. Worst-case scenario? She had given you one last chance, you blew it, and now she doesn't want to talk to you. Get a hooker and get over her. Life goes on.
Also...
chill the hell out, man!
You're WAY too nervous and obsessive about the whole matter. Just drink some vodka and pet some kittens or something. Maybe let the hooker pet the kittens too. I dunno.
Post by
588688
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Gone
Wait another day or two then message her next time shes online and say "Hey, howya doin?"
After she responds
ask if she got your previous message.
Its good to put at least a seven day week between the two messages though.
Post by
588688
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
Honestly, it's pretty safe to assume she saw the message. If she hasn't responded to you, it's because she didn't want to. It might not be personal- she might just be busy and not want to make time for people she doesn't really know anymore (a state I often find myself in that position when getting facebook messages from people I haven't seen in 5-7 years). I always respond to them, but rarely actually make plans with them. It's not that I dislike them- I just don't know them anymore, and there are so many people in my life now who I am scrambling to keep up with, that I don't generally have a lot of time for old connections.
No matter how shy someone is, if a person they have a romantic interest in, or think they may have the potential for a romantic interest in, sends them a message, they are going to respond, unless they have some kind of anxiety disorder. It's not face to face, there's no fear of rejection because they messaged you- there is no reason that a simple response should be undoable.
I have had a lot of friends spend hours agonizing over whether someone liked them, what it meant when they ignored them, what kind of extenuating circumstances could create a scenario where they person would seem uninterested, but actually would be. It always ends up the same- that they acted uninterested because they were uninterested. I used to be the friend who would think that helping them think of reasons that didn't involve rejection, to make them feel better, was the nice thing to do. Later in life, I realized that in my case it would have stung a little to hear the honest appraisal when it was me in that boat, but it would have saved me time and energy driving myself crazy over non-existent long-shot chances and scenarios that wouldn't have been believable as an SNL sketch. So now I give my honest opinion, even if it't not the most pleasant one.
If she wanted to respond to you, she would have. It's probably not anything personal, because she hasn't seen you for years and probably doesn't know much about you now. She probably just isn't interested in reconnecting.
Post by
HiVolt
If she wanted to respond to you, she would have. It's probably not anything personal, because she hasn't seen you for years and probably doesn't know much about you now. She probably just isn't interested in reconnecting.
I'm going to have to second this assessment, man. I know it really sucks, but it's most likely the truth. Your best bet is to move on. Like I said earlier in the thread, unrequited love is terrible to deal with. Don't put yourself through that.
But, you also can't let this keep you down. You worked up the courage to say something to her. That is definitely progress. Big changes don't happen all at once. They take small steps, building upon one another over months or even years. This was one of those small steps. I know it doesn't seem like much, but no matter what, it's still a step in the right direction. You'll find somebody, somewhere, at some point in time. All that matters is that you keep going.
Post by
588688
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Adamsm
Hold up just a minute here: if she wasn't interested in reconnecting with me, why did she accept my friend request? If she's willing to ignore my friendly-get-together request, why not ignore my friend request?
It's Facebook Sold; people accept friend requests all the time from 'random' people. It's entirely possible she has no idea who you were and just figured you may have been someone she knew at some point.
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