This site makes extensive use of JavaScript.
Please enable JavaScript in your browser.
Classic Theme
Thottbot Theme
The Bubble™
Post Reply
Return to board index
Post by
donnymurph
Ouch man. I don't really know what to say. I hope you two sort things out...
Post by
Pachuca
Yeah me too. I need to quit WoW, though. For good.
Post by
Patty
Did she say why? :(
Post by
Pachuca
She gave a whole bunch of reasons. I need to learn to communicate more openly without getting defensive when confronted with an issue. First and foremost that was a huge block in our relationship and it's something I've been struggling with through every relationship my whole life. My parents didn't talk things out; when confronted my mom would just shut down, which is what I do. I need to get over that and just honestly apologize for my mistakes instead of giving excuses.
Another reason was my general lack of passion—for life, for my career, for her, for the house, for my craft. The one thing above all others that she saw I had a passion for was WoW. I spent too many nights on the computer with my back to her, playing. Too many hours of my free time I spent planning gearlists and upgrades, leveling my characters and reading blogs about WoW. Meanwhile, I could have been taking her out on dates or designing cool posters to hang in our new house, or getting out there taking photos with the DSLR she bought me. Countless times she asked if I could print some photos for her to hang in her salon, but I never did. If I had only spent all those countless hours focusing on our relationship instead of meaningless pixels, maybe things could have been different. That's why I need to quit WoW for good.
We had discussions about this in the past and she got fed up waiting for me to fix things, especially after I had promised I would never let things get back to this point. But I did let it. I had several chances but I blew it.
You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, as they say. I am not going to sit back and do nothing this time. I am going to fight for this, because I love her. She did say that given some time, if she sees that I can actually make those changes that I promised to her 2 years ago, then maybe we could work things out. It's a tiny ray of hope, but it's all I have at this point and it's what is driving me to change.
Sorry, this is all really personal stuff. I don't know why I'm sharing it on Wowhead.
Post by
cloudp
You're already stepping up to fix it, which is the right path - and partially counter to your nature - which shows you
want
to fix. Hopefully, you'll work it out, and she'll recognise you for it.
And yeah, a big scare most of the times is a really big emotional step.
Post by
91278
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Pachuca
Thanks for the support, all.
Post by
Paolo
May you find peace in this, brother.
Change is the noblest pursuit. We come into adulthood messed up like mad. The best of us find the courage to sculpt ourselves into beautiful works of art. It's the hardest thing you can do, but there's nothing more important IMO. Remember that you're not only doing this for her. The one person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with is YOU.
For her, for you, for everyone you know, I wish you strength and success in facing this head-on.
Post by
Pachuca
I've got some changes to make, and they're for my own good. I'm not just going to change for her, because there's no point changing who you are for someone else, but I've just been coasting along in life for too long and I need to be strong and make something out of myself.
I cancelled my subscription and deleted the WoW folder from my computer, to discourage myself from re-installing and re-subscribing. 5 years is enough and the game got in the way of so many parts of my life. I've lost friends and girlfriends because of how much attention I put into the game.
I'm going to start doing more design work and photography and get my work printed. I'm going to pick up my guitar which I haven't touched in about 3 years. I'm going to call my friends and hang out with them again, which is something I've been neglecting for the last 2 years as well.
Nothing bad can come of this except for the momentary pain. I feel confident today, and I'm already on a path to a better place. Hopefully one day something will bring us back together.
Bye WoW!
Post by
Patty
I cancelled my subscription and deleted the WoW folder from my computer, to discourage myself from re-installing and re-subscribing. 5 years is enough and the game got in the way of so many parts of my life. I've lost friends and girlfriends because of how much attention I put into the game.
I've done this too, because I am really, really burnt out with the game. And I have neglected my social life and arguably some of the better years of my life (14-18) for WoW, which sucks. It's a bit random me speaking to people asking if they want to hang out, but I had to quit too; there was a point when it was affecting my grades (which is my own damned fault). I've remedied that now, but still, it's too risky. I'm still on wowhead though. :)
And I agree about the "improving for yourself rather than somebody else" mindframe behind your decision, too. If you get back together with your ex, then that's a bonus really.
Post by
Pachuca
Yeah I spent the better years of my life (25-30) being a zombie. Ugh...
Post by
91278
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Patty
I've done this too, because I am really, really burnt out with the game. And I have neglected my social life and arguably some of the better years of my life (14-18) for WoW,
Go to Uni, and love it. 18-21 is way better. You get to do stuff. Lots of stuff.
Taking a gap year, so it'll be 19-22 or so. ;) But yeah, I'm looking forward to uni; although I still lament on my lost youth!
DAMN YOU BLIZZARD IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT I HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY OWN ACTIONS.
Post by
donnymurph
Wow, Pachuca, I thought you were 25 tops. You've held your age well. I'm 21 and look as old as you.
Post by
Pachuca
LOL thanks. I've looked the same since I was 21, aside from my acne disappearing and growing a bit of a beard.
The reasons I started playing WoW are no longer the same reasons I kept playing. I raided because I felt a certain level of responsibility to heal for my guild. Once I told them I was leaving, however, they just replaced me and wished me luck. They didn't
need
me after all. The game is an endless grind, and they've got a brilliant system set up to keep people hooked and coming back for more. I just can't waste any more of my life on this virtual treadmill.
Thanks for the good wishes and hopefully in the next few weeks or months I'll have some good news to report.
Post by
OscarDivine
Pachuca - You won't regret this decision. After leaving WoW I really realized how much I had sacrificed just to do things like raiding and the abundantly wasteful dailies that they make so plentiful and repetitive.
My wife, also, was against my playing, though she understood that it was an outlet for me. I pray your relationship can recover from this and grow stronger, just as ours did. :-)
I sometimes think about going back to WoW, but just the thought of having to do dailies again, rep grinds, endless dungeons and raids just to get a gear set complete... I get nauseated. The one thing I DO miss, is the community. Which I can find here with you fellas periodically.
This game breeds neglect. Breaking free is like breaking any other addiction, but once you do, you'll be free to nurture the neglected parts and people in your life. I wish you the best of luck friend.
I'll leave you with this tidbit:
You never marry the "right" person because the person you marry is not the person they will be. You will marry who you marry and all of the people they become after you are married. It is this that allows you to fall in love with them over and over again.
Post by
donnymurph
You never marry the "right" person because the person you marry is not the person they will be. You will marry who you marry and all of the people they become after you are married.This is why I have a different outlook on relationships to most people. I don't think I could ever be in a long term one. It is this that allows you to fall in love with them over and over again.I do admire your optimism though.
Post by
Pachuca
Thank you for the optimistic words. We've been hanging out with each other and things have been going really well — being positive, always parting on a happy note — and we've got a date this Saturday. I'm also covering my bases and looking at apartments just in case, but either way, I won't be on my sister's couch much longer. ;P
Post by
Paolo
Where's the LIKE button!
Post by
donnymurph
Where's the LIKE button!
Post Reply
You are not logged in. Please
log in
to post a reply or
register
if you don't already have an account.